Free Time Is NEVER Too Boring
by KandiLips
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the Ben 10 gang does during their free time? Here's your chance to find out. COLLECTION OF ONE-SHOTS. Rated T for language. Gwevin and Benlie C: WARNING: EXTREME WIERDNESS WILL OCCUR.
1. The Pills Pt 1

_**Me: Heyy, everybody!! Okay, I am writing my FIRST collection of one-shots ever, and I'm so psyched!! I haven't been this happy about something in a while… well, besides the premiere of The Final Battle when Gwen and Kevin kissed :) But, yeah, believe it or not, this moment is high up there on my list of happy moments. LOL. Okay, I am SOOO off topic. HA. Well, my first fic in the collection is based off of a HYSTERICAL event that occurred recently in my life with my cousin who has ADHD and just started taking meds for it. NOTE: If you yourself have ADHD, then please don't get offended by this fic, I'm not poking fun at people with ADHD, I'm only poking fun at Benji, because… ya know, THAT'S what I do!! So please, please don't take it personally, and no, I am most definitely NOT judgmental, my cousin has it, and he's a brilliant kid, he's the smartest kid in the 8**__**th**__** grade, and I respect him greatly. Okay, so that's basically all I have to say. And there WILL be a part two to this; I have a lot to write!! Haha, Enjoy!! **_

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**Nobody's POV:**

It was a Saturday afternoon, and believe it or not, the one and only thing Ben was interested in doing was his homework. This only occurred after taking his new medication for people with ADHD who wanted to focus on not-so-pleasant tasks, of course. Ben sighed; this was DEFINITELY a first for him… wanting to do his homework. He had already ignored at least 7 calls from Julie, and 3 calls from Gwen and Kevin.

"Ben, do you want to go out on a date tonight?"

_Nope, sorry, Jules. _Was he completely and utterly annoyed? Yes. Was he going to get up and respond? No.

He continued typing.

_Seconds _later:

"Ben, we're fighting Vilgax!! Get your lazy ass down here and help out for a change, or he'll take over the PLANET!!!!"

Ben had laughed ALOT and even fell out of his computer chair in mid-type when he had heard this one. Who did Kevin think he was?? Fight Vilgax? Hell, no!! He had homework!

_HELLO!?!?! H-O-M-E-Y-W-O-R-K-E-Y!! _His mind responded to Kevin's angry message.

Those 10 unwanted, unread voicemails waiting longingly in his voice mailbox for him were ringing over and over again in his mind, until Ben's irritation had drove him to grow an urge to smash his brain to bits with a mallet, silencing the messages for good.

_Yeah, like I'm THAT stupid…_ Ben rolled his eyes…

And… continued typing. ALL he could do was keep his eyes glued on the screen, they wouldn't go ANYWHERE else. He was a prisoner to his body.

"Dammit!!" Ben shouted, bringing his fist down hard on the table as he remembered one of the major highlights of his life. Sumo Slammers: The Epic Battle was premiering in FIVE minutes, and all Ben could do was type about the eating habits of starfish. Oh, yeah. On top of that, the medication had made Ben lose his appetite. Meaning NO chili fries. OR smoothies.

He wanted to die.

"Okay, I'm just going to have to force my mind to think of something besides doing homework." Ben though out loud. "That should work… no problem."

Silently, Ben shut his eyes closed and concentrated hard on smoothies. _Carrot and Liver, Mint and Sausage, Turnip and Raspberry… _

He licked his lips, and then began chanting: "Smoothies, smoothies, smoothies, smoothies, smoothies, smoothies, smoothies, smoothies, smoothies, SMOOTHIESSS!!"

And… his mind forced him back to doing his homework like a little girl forcing her daddy to buy her a lollipop.

"Ahhhhhhh!!" He screeched out in frustration. He threw himself down on his knees and thrust his hands up in the air in anger. "Why, why, WHY???? Why, do you do this to me??!! WHY?!?!" Benji bellowed.

It was then that Ben heard the footsteps. They were approaching from outside; slowly, painfully gaining speed. Closer, and closer and closer…

Ben wondered if hallucinations were one of the many side-effects from the medication.

His meds might force him to type a report, but they could NOT deny him his safety. Head first; Ben dove behind the bookshelf, copying the exact moves of the escaping villain from some old superhero flick.

"Ow." He muttered, hitting his head on the wood floor.

Ben jolted up to a sitting position, and awaited his enemies with devout alertness. NOBODY got by the famous Ben Tennyson. Nobody.

_Quick Ben, think!! You need a plan… keep in mind, what would Kenko and Ishyama do?_ Ben wondered in his mind, never forgetting his two favorite sumo slammer wrestlers.

The anticipating brunette vowed to leap out from his hiding place once his enemy was close enough, and pounce on them, putting an end to their advancing. Trying to stay calm, Ben listened to the footsteps and began his countdown for throwing himself at the intruder.

_Five..............._

_Four............_

_Three......._

_Two….._

_One..._

Screeching like a howler monkey and waving his arms around wildly in the air, Ben lunged out from behind the bookshelf and threw himself onto his enemy. The horror-struck, red-headed intruder let out a deafening, blood-curdling scream as she was knocked to the floor by the crazy brunette maniac.

In total triumph, Ben looked down upon his enemy to see that it was none other than… Gwen.

"Oh… shit." Ben mumbled, slowly rolling off the girl he had just squashed like pancake.

Gwen, not yet knowing who her attacker was, scrambled up from the wooden floor-boards and darted out the front door with such intensity you would have guessed it was raining designer clothing.

Kevin watched with a completely perplexed look on his face as his girlfriend sprinted down the sidewalk and away from Ben's house, screaming at the top of her lungs. He slowly and carefully tip-toed through the front door to find Benji sitting on his computer… typing?

"Just out of curiosity…" The dark-eyed teen said coolly, leaning back against the wall. "What are you doing?"

"Typing a report." Ben replied, not taking his eyes off the computer screen.

"A report…." Kevin said shocked.

"Yep. A report on starfish. Hey, did you know that they poop out of their mouth when they're depressed or angry?"

Kevin COULDN'T believe it. His mouth dropped open wide enough to stick an entire fist in it. BEN…READING: two words that contradict each other. It was so scary... so utterly frightening…

And with that, Kevin sprinted out the front door like a man trying to escape death.

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!" HE SCREAMED. "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!

Ben remained there, sitting, his eyes glued to the screen. He scratched his head. His brain throbbed with confusion, giving him the biggest headache the world had ever seen. It was a completely normal response for Gwen to run off screaming like a little girl, he would have too if someone had ambushed him like that for no reason. But Kevin? Ben was sure he would have heard of grosser things in the Null Void than pooping out of your mouth.

Ben's mind was spinning around and around like a record, and it gave him the horrible thought that it just MIGHT explode.

"Oh, man, am I on some fucked up pills." He groaned, clutching his head.

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_**Me: Hahahahaha, oh you have NO idea how much fun that was to write!! And I'm not even done yet, there's still part 2 to look forward to!! :) In part two you can expect shopping for baby strollers, Ben jumping out the window, and mangos. :P Yep. MANGOS. LOL okay, so that's all for now!! Wow, I really made this very, very long… I promise the next one will be shorter!! Haha kay, I'm officially done!! PEACE OUT!! :P Andd please don't forget to R & R!! bye!! **_


	2. The Pills Pt 2

_**Me: Hey everyone!! Okay, so here's Pt. 2 of The Pills:) hahaha I purposely gave it a goofy name; it sounds like one of those horror movies that's title is just made up of the words "The" and then some MYSTERIOUS word that's meant to frighten you. Lol… like "The Mist", "The Grudge", "The Ring", I mean COME ON!! Can't they be more creative?!?! Lol. Well, NO, I didn't come here to critique movies… I am no movie critic… But, I DID come here to write part two of my crazy story, so that's just what I'll do. Haha. Okay, here we go!! Hope you like!!**_

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**Nobody's POV:**

It was three hours later, and Ben was already working on his third and final research project. Make-up work was right up there on his hate list, only five spots up from Vilgax. He sighed, still madly pondering over why Kevin had left in the first place. What was so damn scary about starfish? Suddenly, Ben squealed with delight like a baby eating its first ice cream cone as he realized something major: he was on the LAST sentence. Urgently, Ben's fingers accelerated in speed… _7 more words, 6 more, 4 more, 2 more…_

"_BAM!!" _

A giant, echoing, sonic boom sounded from Ben's front yard, and he was thrown painfully from his chair, his body flying through the air like Mike Morningstar. Only after he had smashed through the glass table like a meteor and broken his dad's six hundred dollar iPhone did he realize that this was all a part of the payback from two certain, angry teenagers who were no longer screaming like little girls.

They were LAUGHING like little girls.

"Ahahaha, you should have seen your face!!" Kevin was chuckling so hard that his face matched the shade of Gwen's fiery mane.

"It was priceless!!" Gwen giggled, toppling over onto the floor and rolling around on it.

"Haha. Now LEAVE." Ben spat.

Kevin's grin did a flip as his anger at Ben came back from its break. "No. Do you realize that you scared the shit out of me and Gwen? You TACKELED your cousin, AND, worse, you were READING!!!! What were you thinking?!?!" Kevin's expression was now totally freaked out, and he was slowly retreating towards the door.

"Whoa, Kev. It's okay. Even insane people like Ben can learn to read. It's all good." She smirked, enjoying Kevin's simple fear of Ben acting smart more than anything.

"Fine." He grunted. "But I'm watching you, Tennyson."  
Ben smirked. "I know."

"Sooo… watcha doing?" Kevin was examining Ben's research project, scrutinizing every little word.

"Project." Ben muttered, wiped the tiny shards of glass off his clothes. "You do realize you could have killed me, right?"

"Uhuh." Kevin mumbled, sitting down at the computer.

"Hey! What are you…?"

"Surfin' the web." Kevin grinned his famous crooked grin, because he knew his words were digging right under Ben's skin. Just like he planned. "Hey, Gwen, isn't your Aunt Arissa having a baby in July?" Kevin questioned, now logging on to _EBay._

_Shit._ Ben's mind cussed. "Okay knock it o…"

"Yeah!" Gwen chimed in, seeming a lot more interested in it than she SHOULD be. She climbed into Kevin's lap, knowing that now there was NO way Ben could get his precious computer back. _God_, she loved being devious. "Let's look for baby strollers!!"

"You took the words right out of my mouth." He grinned, wrapping his free arm around her waist.

"I'm going to DIEEEEE!!" Ben screamed, running around in circles. "Deathhhhh!!"

"Oh, relax." Gwen snorted. "We'll only be a second."

"Oh, how about this white and orange stroller for two hundred bucks?" Kevin asked, looking down at his girlfriend. "It has pretty colors."

"I'm melting!!" Ben whimpered. "I'm melti…wait, wha? PRETTY colors?" He gaped.

"What about them?" Gwen was confused.

"I LOVE them!!" Ben was singing really old show tunes and running around in circles, his mind completely lost. "Let me see!!"

"Fine…?" Kevin was starting to believe that Ben was either drunk or on something. He was going to get to the bottom of it. "Hey, Gwen, why don't you show "Little Miss Benji" here the "pretty colors"? He sniggered, getting up. "I'm gonna go snack it up in the kitchen."

"Kay." Gwen mumbled, turning the computer to the right so Ben could stare at it in wonder.

"Wow." He stood transfixed. "It looks like an Irish Mango!!"

"Excuse me?" Gwen asked, shocked.

"An Irish Mango!!" He grinned widely. "You see," Ben altered his voice to a "matter-of-fact" tone. "The white is like an Irish person, because they're really, really, really, reeeeally pale, and the orange is like a mango, because, well… mangos are ORANGE!!" Ben exclaimed, so happy at his discovery. "Hence the Irish Mango."

Gwen could not believe her ears. "Ben…" She gritted through her teeth. " WE'RE Irish."

"Really?" He looked completely perplexed. "Is that why you look like a ghost?"

And the next thing poor Benji knew, he had been chucked out through the glass window like a football, still clueless as ever and still unable to find his lost mind.

"Kevin, did you find any good snacks? I'm angry and starved." Gwen pouted, storming into the kitchen. She HATED Ben right now.

"No snacks but, uh… I uhm…uh…" The dark-haired boy scratched his head. He was staring down at something, his brain deep in thought.

"What?" Gwen gasped exasperatedly.

"I found Ben's….meds." He handed the small prescription bottle over to Gwen, who turned even paler than usual as she read the label.

Gwen looked up, extreme worry written all over her face, and met Kevin's evenly horrified eyes.

And it was in that second that the two teens knew they had done something TERRIBLY wrong.

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_**Me: Hahahaha, this one STILL came out very, veryyyy long; probably the longest one-shot I will ever write!! But it was oh so fun!! It was JUST like what happened with my cousin!! Except for the sonic boom part and being thrown out the window… but everything else ACTUALLY happened!! :P Anyways, here are some spoilers on the next one-shot. There will be: MUCH teasing,- done by none other than *cough* *Kevin* *cough* as usual LOL -AND, there will also be swimming pools, and a certain jealous boyfriend. Haha :P Kay, so that's all for now! Tell me if you liked my story or not; PLEASE REVIEW!! I will take negative AND positive feedback :) Bye!! ;) **_


	3. Making Out With Kevin

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: Hey everyone!! Okay, so here's chapter 3 of my collection of one-shots!! This one, I PROMISE, is not going to be two parts and OUTRAGEOUSLY long like "The Pills" was. LOL that was very, verrrry epic, though. Good times. Anywho, This one-shot is based on an actual event that occurred this past summer with my ex boy friend, my best friend, and my cousin. LOL it was hysterical!! :P Oh, and one more thing… remember last chapter when I said KEVIN would be doing the pranking? Well, let's just say it backfires a bit. :D So, I advise you all to sit back, relax, and most importantly ENJOY!!**_

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**Nobody's POV:**

"Ben, where are Gwen and Kevin?"

The smoothie-slurping brunette glanced up to meet Julie's dark, onyx eyes that spelled out confusion.

"Doing it." Ben muttered absentmindedly, tracing random shapes into his girlfriend's back. Oh, how he loved being out by the pool, just the two of them.

Julie was too flabbergasted to even take a note of her boyfriend's quirky actions.

"Doing… _it_?"

"Uhuh."

The dark-haired girl ruptured into laughter, her giggles spluttering out like water from a broken hose. She collapsed onto the ground, slamming her fist repeatedly into the deck.

Moments later, Gwen and Kevin appeared from around the corner, hand in hand, halting right in front of the crazily-chuckling girl with raven hair.

"Uh, did we miss something?" Gwen asked, not recalling that she had EVER seen the girl in such a state.

"Hahaha!! You..haha…Kevin…blahahahahaha!!!! You guys….BAHAHAHAHA!!"

"Ben…?" Gwen turned to her cousin who was composedly sun-bathing on the deck.

"Oh, she's just making fun of you and Kevin's _'recent activity'_." He muttered, slipping on a pair of loose sunglasses.

Kevin was puzzled. _What recent activity? Making out? WHY would Julie make fun of them for that, she kissed her boyfriend ALL the time._ A very bewildered expression washed over his face.

Julie, now into the second stage of her snickering fit, had turned to mimicking Gwen and Kevin's actions, teasing to points of no return. "Oh, Kevin… I just wanna make out with you!! And then I wanna do it with you!! And, we can have babies and get married!! I loooooove you, Gwenny-poo!! I loooooove you!!" She sang in an unusually high-pitched voice. The teasing-crazed girl then began making painfully obvious kissing noises, and dancing around in circles.

Kevin sighed, knowing that Julie **would** tease someone like that. He sat down in a vacant deck chair, and planned to work on his tan.

"Ohh, Kevin!! I love you!! I wanna be with you forevvverrrrrrrr!!" She chanted louder, trying to make them as uncomfortable as possible.

Kevin just rolled his eyes and ignored it, still pondering how one simple thing could push Julie to hysterics…

Gwen, on the other hand, was completely infuriated, and could NOT stand people who teased her.

"Julie…KNOCK…IT…OFF." She growled, taking a few steps closer to the dark-eyed girl and glaring at her.

"Oh, c'mon, Gwen. Can't you see the girl's just jealous because she can't _**get**_any?" He smirked, loving his ways of payback.

But, Julie was already ahead of him. She grinned and continued her song. "Ohhhh, Kevin!! I looove you!! I just wanna kiss you, baby!! I just wanna make out with you….!!" She took a couple steps towards him.

"Uhh, Julie..?"

"Ohhh, baby, Oh Kevin!! I will love you for ALLLLLLL of my life!!!!" She was now laughing uproariously, like a druggie buying heroin.

"Jules…….?!"

"I love you, I love you, I looooooooove youuuuu!!"

Screaming at the top of his lungs, the raven-haired boy jolted up from his chair, sprinting away from the crazy girl as she chased him down across the pavement.

Moments later, a previously calm and in control Ben scrambled up from his chair, and raced after the two. "DON'T actually kiss him, Julie!! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!"

And before Gwen could do or say anything, the three teenagers were ramming and shoving each other into the swimming pool, tackling each other aggressively under water.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Yup, those are my friends." She grumbled, scooping up the extra towels in a single movement and staggering after the maniacs.

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_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: Haha, I do realize that I'm very, VERY crazy for writing that, but I just HAD to. :) It inspired me!! LOL. Anyways, in the next one-shot, Ben's going to be ALL over the pranks, and his targets are Gwen and Kevin. THERE WILL BE KISSING!! Well, not exactly kissing, but something along the lines of that. You'll see. :P Okay, I'm done!! See you all soon, and don't forget to REVIEW, please!! I also like ideas on what I can write about for future chapters, and I'll give you all the credit for it in the author's note!! I promise. Okay, that's all for now!! Bye!! **_


	4. Lip Locked

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: Hey, everyone!! Here I am with the fourth chapter of my collection! Yay!! *does a happy dance* LOL Yep, I tend to do a lot of those. Ookay, so, this story will be very short; I don't exactly have a lot of time today… I gotta head over to PT for my knee. (I tore a ligament in it while playing soccer, and it suckkkkkss) Kay, so here we go!! ;)**_

**Standard Disclaimer: Yeah, I better start doing this, or else Man of Action will get all up in my case and hunt me down!! :O No, that probably won't happen, but just to be safe: **

**I do not... under any circumstances… own Ben 10. *cries in the corner* phew, glad that's over with.**

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**Nobody's POV: **

"Uhh, Ben?" The raven-haired teen strode calmly into the room, her face scrunched up in confusion. "Could you give me one good reason why I just walked into the room to find you smooshing potato chips into the carpet with your back?"

The crazed brunette didn't answer. He was too busy choking on his own saliva as he lay there, rolling around on his potato chip-covered carpet, cackling like he had just seen Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in a bikini top.

"They….hahahaha….together….ahahaha….lip gloss…." Ben wheezed breathlessly, intensifying his rolling.

Julie made circles with her onyx eyes and playfully kicked him in the butt, only making Ben chortle at a louder volume.

"Speak up, Ben!" She giggled. Oh, that boy never failed to astound her. Julie wordlessly crouched down to the teen's level, trying to make some sense out of his mumbo-jumbo. She tossed the empty potato chip bag behind her back that had caused so much of a mess around the room.

"Does this have anything to do with Gwen and Kevin?" She smirked, remembering the gang's past little incident by the pool.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Was all she got for a response.

Julie sighed. "Is that a yes or a no?"  
"Y…y…y…yess!!" Ben giggled, squirming around on the carpet like an inch warm on steroids.

Julie grinned._ What_ on earth were those two up to now? She had to find out.

"Ben, if you stop laughing, I'll buy you a smoothie later." Julie coaxed, leaning over the hysterical boy.

The laughing ceased to exist. Ben smirked. "Okay, PROMISE not to pee your pants though, okay? My mom just cleaned the floors."

Julie shivered as she wondered WHY exactly his mom had to clean the floors in the first place. Ew. She frowned. _Really, _Ben? But she HAD to know. "I promise."

"Okay. So, I wanted to get back at Gwen and Kevin for disturbing me the other day while I was TRYING to do my homework, so, I put _Epoxy_ glue in Gwen's lip gloss…"

_Oh, no._ Julie's mouth dropped to form a perfect "o". She knew exactly where this was going…

"And they kissed… and now, they're stuck together! BAHAHAHA!!"

Julie didn't have to be psychic to predict what was about to happen next. Just then, Ben's door caved in, and the furious Gwen and Kevin came sprawling into the room, their lips locked together in an unbreakable bond. Their rage-possessed eyes searched the room intensely for the culprit who they both knew was the reason why they had conjoined lips.

"Aw, crap." Ben groaned, scampering to his feet and backing up into the corner. He knew he was doomed.

Gwen and Kevin charged at Ben's vulnerable form, throwing their bodies into his and crushing him like an ant. And as soon as Ben was slumped back down on the floor, Gwen and Kevin's merciless feet were pounding into his sides, making Ben scream out in horror.

Julie giggled, remembering yet another one of Ben's major fears; feet. Oh, did HE get what was coming to him or _what? _She smirked, backing out of the room sluggishly, scooping up a handful of chips as she went.

"Please, please you guys!! I'm sorry!! Please!! Ow!!" Ben's wimpy pleading was increasing by the second. "Julie!! Oh, no, Jules, don't leave me!! You promised you'd get me a smoothie!!" Ben whimpered.

Julie winked. "Bye, Ben." She raced out of the room, sighing deeply. That crazy idiot just had to learn sometime.

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_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: HAHAHA, oh, Ben, you make me chuckle!! :) Oh, and by the way, just if you're wondering, Epoxy is the STRONGEST glue in the world,,,, that's why I used it in the one-shot!! LOL Ahem, okay, anyways, the next one-shot will text Ben's popularity to the MAXX, as he is concerned over how popular he actually is. :P *sly look* that should be good. So, stay tuned for more, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review!! I know it's extremely annoying to ask, but I love hearing what everyone has to say, even the criticism is good!! Okay, cya all later!! **_


	5. The Last Laugh

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: Heyyyyyy everyone!! :D Okay, here's the scoop: since I haven't updated in like, idk, a LOOOOONG time, I've decided to do TWO updates for my collection today!! :P Just because I love you all!! Haha :) LOL, so, this one-shot is basically just about how Ben is testing out his fame, and uses it to his advantages. LOL. I thought it was cuuuute :3 Okay, so sit back, relax, and enjoy!! :D**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**__** I do not own Ben 10. I do not own Kevin Levin. And, frankly, I DO NOT even own an iPod touch!! :O (Mine somehow found its way into shower…) hehehe. **_

Nobody's POV:

Gwen tilted her head up towards the sun and shut her eyes peacefully, letting its overwhelming beams of light bathe her in its warmth. She had finally been successful in getting her friends down to the beach, and now, she was surrounded by pure heaven; the diamond-flecked ocean waves rolling slowly towards her, the unmistakable aroma of the salt water engulfing her senses and flashing her mind back to prefect moments of the past.

The only problem that stuck out like a stubborn nail in need of some serious hammering: Ben.

As… usual.

"So, guys, I was thinking…"

"Don't."

Kevin smirked. Besides kicking foreign alien butt, giving his ride new paint jobs, and making out with Gwen… he absolutely ADORED mocking Ben. It was priceless. And sometimes pathetically easy.

"As I was saying before being _rudely_ interrupted by 'The self proclaimed ex-con'," Ben began again, absentmindedly kicking a pebble so that it penetrated the glistening ocean waves. "How _popular_ do you think I am now?"

"If you're expecting me to say something nice like 'Oh, golly gee, Ben, you're soooooo popular now!!'…then you're seriously outta luck, Tennyson." Kevin grinned, entwining his fingers with Gwen's own and watching the breathtaking smile wash over her face.

Julie rolled her eyes. "Don't listen to Kevin. You're very, VERY popular now. You're a SUPER hero!! Everyone loves you, an..."

Kevin burst into sudden and much anticipated laugher. The raven-eyed boy was chuckling so hard, that its contagiousness caught on to Gwen almost instantly, and pulled her down to her knees in a series of melodic giggles.

Ben was enraged. How could they be LAUGHING at him?! He was a superstar, a MEGA star! He couldn't have this happening…

He smirked, an idea hitting him like a bolt of lightning. "Julie? Would you excuse me for a second?"

_Ohhh, yes! _Ben giggled in his mind, rubbing his hands together mischievously. _Time to test my theory!!_

Ben jogged off towards the vacant lifeguard's chair and clambered awkwardly up its latter, grabbing a megaphone.

"HEY!! EVERYOBODY!" Ben spat into the megaphone, his booming voice escalating over the crowded beach. "IT'S ME, BEN TENNYSON, THE FAMOUS SUPER HERO!!!!" Ben grinned, so utterly full of himself. He continued, getting to the point. "WHOEVER PUSHES _HIM_ INTO THE WATER," Ben gestured over to the now extremely frightened Kevin. "GETS A FREE AUTOGRAPHED BEN TENNYSON T-SHIRT!!!!!!!!"

In a split second, before Kevin even had time to gasp for breath, a psycho crowd of tourist were brutally shoving and kicking him into the frigid ocean water, clothes and all.

"Damn you, BEN!!" Kevin bellowed, spurting out water like a fountain.

It was Ben and Julie's turns to laugh.

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: That was SO fun to write:) You have no idea. LOL Okay, next one-shot… well, I'm not exactly sure what it's going to be about yet, but I DO know that it will take place in an animal shelter… with some Gwen and Kevin comedy!! Haha, I promise, it'll be an interesting one. In the mean time… I'm getting myself a nice, iced coffee!! XD Okay, bye for nowww!! **_


	6. Teenagers

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: Hellllooo, everyone!! Okay, so this one-shot is about the shocking news Gwen hears about her dog, Shadow, and how she has to put him to sleep. :( Orrrr so she thinks… :D hehehe… Well, you'll find out!! Don't forget to review when you're done if you like it, PLEASE!! I love reviews :D**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**_

_**I do not own Ben 10… Ben 10: Alien Force… Ben 10: Ultimate Alien… or whatever the heck comes after all that!! :P But, who knows… it's a mystery…**_

NOBODY'S POV:

"I _still_ don't see why you're so upset over this."

No response.

Gwen's body was on the verge of collapsing as it shook heavily under her rapidly growing sobbing. The burdensome dog crate yanked down hard on her arms and increased her chances of contact with the floor. Kevin held her securely in an embrace, his arms ever so slightly repeating the gesture to take the heavy load from her trembling hands. But time and time again, she refused to let him carry it.

Kevin sighed with irritation. "Why do you always have to be so difficult?"

Gwen glared up at him, her tears drenching her brand new sweater and her eyes glowering at her boyfriend with distinct fury. He _never_ understood her. _Ever. _And when she was REALLY terribly hurt inside, he still couldn't.

Immediately, Kevin dropped the embrace, backed up a few steps, and walked silently alongside her. He knew that look. Even dummies could plainly see that it spelled out "don't-mess-with-me". It was one of the several thousand important survival facts needed while dating Gwen.

"_Kevin,"_ Came Gwen's enraged, yet unsteady voice. "You've never had a pet. So how would YOU understand why I'm so upset right now?" The red-head stopped dead in her tracks, shoving her boyfriend firmly into the wall, her arms shaking with an unstable combination of rage and misery.

Kevin frowned, grabbing her hand and holding it delicately in his, brushing her fingers with his own. He hated seeing her like this. She was really upset.

"I'm sorry.' He began, taking a deep breath. He hoped this would work.

"And you're completely right, I don't understand."

Gwen sighed, and looked down at the dog crate. Whimpering with despair, she mutely poked a finger in between the bars so that Shadow could press his nuzzle against it, one last time.

She burst into tears again, sheltering her face into Kevin's chest. When the tears finally subsided, she looked up into her boyfriend's perfect onyx eyes again.

"You ready?" He asked concernedly, gazing down at the emotional red-head. She nodded, and they continued sauntering on to the front desk.

The receptionist was alert, her dark eyes darting back and forth between the two teens like they were nothing but trouble.

"Can I help you?" She inquired sternly, eyeing the dog crate.

"Yes." Gwen gulped, and Kevin knew that this was the hardest thing for her. "We're here for the two o'clock appointment for Shadow."

The red-head shifted her weight uneasily from foot to foot.

"And what _exactly_ is wrong with him?" She nudged her glasses further up her nose with a single finger, and leaned in closer to scrutinize Gwen's dog. "He looks perfectly fine."

"I…I… uhm…" Gwen stammered, turning as white as the porcelain-tiled floor. She burst noisily into tears, and Kevin reached over to collect her back into his arms again.

The receptionist looked down at Gwen with an extremely concerned face, and then switched her gaze to Kevin for answers.

"Uh, ma'm," Kevin began, now rubbing Gwen's back apathetically to try to calm her down. "Her dog, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The doctor just called this morning. They're going to have to put him to…to uh, sleep." Kevin murmured uncomfortably.

The receptionist shook her head back and forth as her eyes grazed the computer screen intently. It seemed as if she wasn't convinced that he was being truthful at all. "No, you _must _be mistaken. Dr. Wjotowicz has no appointment set up for YOUR dog." She frowned. "What is your name, darling?" She asked politely, gazing down at Gwen.

"G…G…Gwen Tennyson." She choked, relaxing her head down on Kevin's shoulder.

The receptionist smirked. "Well, the message must have been sent to the wrong person. The owner of the dog Shadow _with_ terminal cancer is named 'Vilgax'." She slurred the name; slowing down her speech in shock that someone would actually think to name their poor child that.

She looked up at the two awestruck teens. They just stood there; their mouths forming perfect "O's", their bodies as immobile as deer in headlights. Gwen looked like she was about to faint she was so dumbfounded. Her body collapsed onto the floor, taking Kevin down with her. They both erupted into simultaneous laugher; giggling so hard that their lungs bore sharp pain, and falling on top of each other every time they tried to pick themselves up.

The receptionist was fully dazed and appalled. NEVER had she ever seen _anyone_ make this much of a ruckus in the main office! It was unheard of, unacceptable. She rolled her eyes and went right back to focusing on her work, ignoring the rambunctious teens as they rolled around on the floor, chuckling their heads off.

"_Teenagers."_ She muttered, absolutely disguised.

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: HAHAHA!! OMG, poor Vil-Pickle. His doggie has terminal cancer. :( Anddd Gwen and Kevin laughed at him. HAHAHA :P I should TOTALLY do a sequel to this where they go to Vilgax's house and **__**try**__** to make him feel better. TRY. Hahahaha. Maybe I will. But for right now… PEACE OUT!! :D And PLEASE don't forget to review!! **_


	7. Teenagers: The Sequel

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: Okay, I don't know WHAT madness drove me to write this, but somehow, the idea popped up into my head while writing the last chapter... and unfortunately it stuck. ROTFL!!! So, I'm very sorry if this Okay, so now that the apology for the craziness of this chapter is out, I can get to actually writing it now! ;D And please tell me if you liked it by reviewing!! Kay, the epic weirdness shall now begin...**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**** I do NOT own Ben 10, Man Of Action, Kevin's Car, or EVEN Vilgax!! :( I seriously hope you all know that by now. If you don't... uhh... well, my friend's mother IS a Psychologist... just send a PM my way and I'll help you get in touch with her, okay? :) LOL!! jk, jk!**_

…_**.................................................................................................................................................................**_

Nobody's POV:

The distressed green giant huddled in the corner of his kitchen, bawling his eyes out over the recent news of his poor little dog, Shadow. He had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and Vilgax was so utterly depressed. He had gone through one tissue box, then two, then five, then fourteen, then twenty five...

Vilgax jumped as there was a pounding knock on the door.

_Oh, Great. Not mother again!_ Vilgax thought exasperatedly.

He grumbled to himself about bad luck and how it always seemed to find him.

"COME IN, MOMMY!" He bellowed to the door, sniffing loudly to show her that he was physically upset.

"Uhh... we're not your... mommy." Kevin snickered, the red-headed girl next to him bursting into unstoppable laughter. "So, tell me... when was it again that you had your tea party scheduled for? Your 'mommy' wanted to know."

Gwen was now rolling around on the ground, chuckling so hard that her face now matched the exact shade of her hair.

Lost in his pure, blinding rage,Vilgax raced to the door, clumsily knocking over several flower pots and vases as he went.

He didn't care.

And, as the ginormous alien stepped out onto the front porch, an impressive explosion of colorful cake came splattering up at him, causing the poor alien to go soaring through the air and to crash into the kitchen wall with extreme force.

"Oh, Vil-Pickle... You klutzy buffoon!! You stepped RIGHT on your cake! I EVEN baked it myself!Well, I hope you enjoyed it!" Kevin mocked, soon joining Gwen as she lay sprawled out on the front law, banging her fists into the ground and giggling like a psycho.

"ERGH!!" Vilgax jumped up, his nostrils flaring wildly and his facial expression matching that of a bull's in the rodeo. "LEVIN!!!!"

Kevin quickly grasped the hysterical red-head by her shoulders, urgently pulling her up to her feet.

"That's our cue, Gwen!" He shot the girl her favorite crooked grin and grabbed her hand, leading her as they sprinted off down the street.

"HOPE YOUR DOG ISN'T AS HORRIBLE AS YOU ARE; HE'S GONNA NEED ALL THE LUCK HE CAN FIND TO GET INTO HEAVEN!!" Kevin yelled back over his shoulder, laughing at the top of his lungs like the crazy maniac he was.

"I hate my life." Vilgax mumbled, dabbing avidly at the hot pink frosting smeared all over his nose.

"And cake bombs." He added resentfully with a sniff.

…_**.................................................................................................................................................................**_

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Me: HAHA!! Okay, that is like the CRAZIEST thing I have ever written!! Poor Vilgax. Maybe I just wrote this because I love inflicting pain on him. :) Who knows. ANYWAYS, please review if you liked it, OR even if you didn't. I don't really care. Okay, until next time, buh bi!!**_


	8. Catching Trolls

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Okay, everyone! Here's the eighth chapter of my collection of one-shots! :) This one will definitely show more of Ben just being plain goofy, so if you like that kinda stuff, you'll get a kick out of this! :P Just a little heads up: I DO talk about Ben coming into contact with a Jehovah's Witness in this story, and by using one in it, I am NOT under any circumstances persecuting your religion if you happen to be one yourself. I am only using a Jehovah's Witness in my story because they are commonly know to travel from house to house and sell Bibles. Alright, now that I got that all cleared up, here's the FanFic! And please don't forget to review if you liked it! Here we go, ENJOY!**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**_ **_I don't own Ben 10... but I DO have a little kitty named Gwen! :P_**

…_**.................................................................................................................................................................**_

Ben's POV:

It was just another one of those crazy Saturday mornings where I wake up and find that my parents aren't home, so I'm forced to make myself breakfast and pray to God that I won't burn the toast or cause a kitchen fire or something.

"Great." I scowled to myself.

Yawning like a mad man, I trudged sluggishly into the kitchen, threw open the fridge door, my eyes searching intently for the low fat yogurt. Don't ask me why, but I found it extremely addicting at times.

"Dammit." I cussed under my breath. No yogurt. Maybe I could make eggs?

Nope, I would burn them.

Toast? _Yeah, right. _I would burn that, too.

Pancakes? Pshht. No way in hell would I...

I jumped and squeaked simultaneously as the door bell rang, a series of shivers crawling down my back.

Oh, God.

Yeah, I was the type of teen to watch a freaking scary horror movie, and then regret it the next time I was home alone. And it didn't help that Bellwood was in the middle of a creepy-as-hell torrential downpour; the rain pounding down on the Earth like a hammer as the lightning flashed through the sky and the thunder crashed noisily.

I gulped, trembling as I hid behind the counter, peeking out now and then towards the door. Without diverting my eyes from the front door, I reached behind me to find the kitchen cabinet handle, and I yanked it open to grab the largest pan I could find. An unlikely weapon, but it would have to do.

"Uh...uh...who...who is it?" I gasped loudly, my body shaking nervously as I held the pan up above my head protectively.

No answer.

_Aw, crap._ I was _also_ the type of teen to take a note of all the little details of what happens during the horror movies. I knew quite well that the creepy, mysterious creature that rings your doorbell NEVER responds to you when you ask it who it is.

It was then that I asked myself, what would Kevin do? I slapped my forehead in disgust. _KEVIN_ was not exactly a good choice of a person to look up to. _How about.... oh! Oprah! Yeah, so what would Oprah do?  
Uhh, she would... open the door...?_

Well, I had to face my fears sometime.

Following bravely in Oprah's footsteps, I carefully and slowly tiptoed towards the door, the pan raised in front of me like a shield.

And, as I so cautiously and fearfully opened the door, I screamed bloody murder as my eyes fell upon...

A tiny little kid holding a book.

_Oh._

"Uh... hi." I faked a big, bright smile, scratching the back of my head nervously. I swiftly tossed the pan over my shoulder, and I swore I could hear it smashing through a glass of some kind.

"Hello." He grinned up at me, showing off his tiny, little, misshaped, set of ivory teeth. "I'm here to sell bibles as a fundraiser for my church..."

My mind blotted out everything else he said after that, and I really didn't care. Because it was in that moment that I realized what he really was.

He was a _troll._

Standing at about 3 ½ feet tall, he was pretty much the smallest little thing I had ever seen; his spiky, auburn hair and abnormally large ears giving me the hint that he wasn't human.

Because he wasn't, he couldn't be.

"Hey, um, do you want to come inside for a second? It's really raining hard out there. We can talk in here about buying um..."

"Bibles."

"Yes, oh, yes! Bibles! Well, come on in, then!

So _why_ was I letting the tiny troll inside? Because I could get some serious cash for selling him to the zoo, THAT'S why! He was my ticket to a life of prosperity. I grinned, picturing it all now.

Hesitantly, the little troll rambled on in from the front porch, wiping his feet awkwardly on the front carpet.

"Okay, then. So, what is it that you would..." He began.

"Oh! I just remembered! I left the erm... pie in the oven!" I gasped, making my "I'm-worried-as-hell" face. "Could you possibly go wait in the dining room for me? Then you can have some pie while we talk!" I smiled sweetly as I gestured to my "dining room".

"Oh, boy... PIE!" The teensy, little troll kid jumped up and down a few times, then scampered around the corner and ran right into my trap: a closet door.

"What the..." The poor little troll murmured.

I chuckled idiotically as I shut the door behind him, turning the lock to prevent my captive from escaping.

"LET ME OUT!" The poor little troll kid wailed, pounding on the door with all his might. "PLEASE! I HAVE MONEY!"

"How much..?" I inquired casually, stepping closer to the closet door.

"Uhh... 50 bucks?"

"No."

"PLEEEEASE!" The troll whimpered.

"Nope, sorry."

Rubbing my hands together and feeling exceedingly proud of myself, I jollily skipped over to the phone, punched in a few numbers, and called up my mom's cell phone.

"Hey, mom!" I giggled absentmindedly, sprawling out on the sofa.

"Hi, Ben! How are you, honey?" Mom asked happily.

"Oh, I'm good. Mom, PLEASE come home! I gotta show you something!" I begged, wishing she could see the puppy dog eyes I was making.

"What would that be, dear?" She questioned nonchalantly.

"I caught," I paused for suspense. "A troll!"

Suddenly, the other line went dead.

"Aw, bummer. Guess the phone connection isn't doing too hot." I muttered quietly to myself.

I felt extraordinarily lucky, so I decided to call her back.

"Hiya, mom!" I smiled ecstatically, even though my mom couldn't see it.  
"Ben, stop calling me." My mom moaned.

"But I caught a troooooll!" I whined into the phone, lengthening the word to make it seem more important.

"No, you didn't." The woman sounded like she wanted to smack me. _Geez._

"Did too!" I grinned crazily. I loved playing the "I-did-too" game.

"Trolls don't exist." Mom sighed drearily.

"You're wrong!" I exclaimed happily. "Just, PLEASSSE come down here and I'll show you!"

There was a long pause on the other line."Fine. But you owe me big time, mister." Mom replied gruffly.

"Okay!" I chirped. "Bye, mommy!"

…..................................................................................................................................................................

Ten _looong_ minutes later, my mom pulled up into the driveway, and strode in through the front door.

"Alright, Ben. WHERE'S your so-called troll?"

I grinned widely as I slowly unlocked the closet door, pulling it fully open. _And now for the praise from my mother. _I thought happily.

I watched with confusion as my mother brought her hand to her mouth, and I couldn't tell if she was either trying desperately to hold back a giggle, or if she was pondering avidly over something.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, she spoke.

"Ben..." She started, her expression seeming to hold a great disbelief. "This _troll _of yours is a Jehovah's Witness."

The little Jehovah's Witness inside the closet was trembling quietly in the corner, its arms wrapped tightly around its knees as it rocked back and forth, its eyes as wide as full moons.

_A Jehovah's Witness? Some monster name. Didn't sound scary in the slightest._ I frowned, thinking. _Hmm... actually, it was kind of cute in a way. Maybe it was a friendly monster... _My expression lightened, and I smiled blissfully.

"Cool! Can we keep it mommy? I pleaded, pulling on her sleeve like a little kid. I sure did act like one, anyways.

And every time I look back on this single moment, thinking it through and going over everything I did and said, I _STILL_ don't understand why she furiously smacked me repeatedly with a rolled up newspaper...

…_**.................................................................................................................................................................**_

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Lol, that was SERIOUSLY crazy of me to write, but I just HAD to! :P Haha, and if you don't know, a Jehovah's Witness is a type of religion where they believe that the Bible is the direct word of God. I only used one in my story because they are commonly know to go from house to house and try to spread their religion by selling Bibles and such. So if YOU are a Jehovah's Witness yourself, I am NOT mocking you at all; I only used one in my story for that one reason, and nothing more. Okay, so, PLEASE review if you liked it! And, see you all later! :) **_


	9. Video Game Insanity

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Ello, everyone! I had a little more time on my hands, so this is just another little one-shot I whipped up for ya guys. Review if you like, and I hope you enjoy!**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**_

_**NO, I am most definitely not MOA, so I own crap.**_

…_**...**_

NOBODY'S POV:

"Make it stop!" The aggravated red-head moaned, clutching a rather large couch pillow over her ears to drown out the mercilessly-annoying sounds of Ben's _Spongebob Squarepants _video game and to keep them from penetrating her ear drums.

But it didn't help much: she could STILL hear the beeping and blooping of the game. The non-stop, beyond annoying bleeping and blooping that was threatening her sanity which was currently hanging by a string.

"No can do," Ben muttered, his emerald eyes glued to the TV screen and his fingers smashing madly down on the plastic gaming device. "I'm on level 9, and I've almost defeated Plankton. Just 12 more levels..."

"You're SO cruel!" Gwen gasped, her head throbbing under the severe pressure of the noise. "Please! Just make... it... STOP!" She groaned, pounding her fist into the plump couch with every word.

"Not gonna happen." Ben sighed, his mind focusing hard on the game. "Now shut up and leave me alone."

Sulking, the girl lifted her head in curiosity as an idea hit her like a ton of bricks. With one red eyebrow arched in concentration, she silently reached out a single arm and in the same moment, clenched her hand into a tight fist, her fuchsia mana appearing out of no where and drifting out in an orb to grasp the TV remote...

But Ben was faster.

Before Gwen could even get within 10 inches of the remote, Ben had swiped it up into his hand, not even diverting his eyes from the TV.

"Told you I have sick ninja skills." The brunette snickered arrogantly. "Now, stop bothering me!"

Cussing like a drunk, Gwen's head fell face forward back down into the couch, her scarlet hair raining down in pools around her.

It felt like hours to the girl as she lay there, repeatedly banging her head down into the couch in frustration as she kept her ears glued to the pillow.

Still boiling with anger, Gwen jumped to her feet as the door bell rang, and she sprinted to the front of the house.

Upon opening the door, she wasn't surprised to find Kevin leaning up against the wall in all of his shining bad boy glory, his lips curled up into her favorite crooked grin.

"Hey Kev, what's up?" Gwen smiled, happy to see her boyfriend off all people.

"Nothing much. Can I come in and chill?" He smirked at his choice of play on words. "It's like a furnace at the garage. I swear it's 120 degrees."

Of course Gwen wanted him in. Now she could have somebody to complain about Ben's lame video game with her.

"Sure. But only if you're allergic to loud, obnoxious electronics like I am." Gwen giggled, letting her favorite dark-haired delinquent walk in.

"What do you m..." Kevin began, his sentence trailing off into nothing as his eyes locked with the TV screen.

"Oh... my... God." Kevin gasped, lingering over like a brain-less zombie to where Ben sat. "It's Patty Panic! I freaking love this game!"

"Do you?" Gwen choked, her eyes wide with horror at the events unraveling before her.

"The come grab a white plastic thingy and let's play." Ben chuckled, tossing Kevin a video game remote. "And let's amp up the volume." The devious little brunette smirked. "Hey Gwen," He added nonchalantly, watching with pleasure as Gwen's anger ate her alive. "Wanna join in, too?"

Screaming with exasperation, the red-head trudged over to the vacant couch again, snatching up the pillow in a heart beat with white-knuckled fists. "Why me?" She moaned loudly, falling back down once more.

…_**...**_

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDING:**_

_**LOL, Poor Gwen. I feel bad, but I just REALLY enjoy teasing that red-head. Okay! That's all for now, see you all soon! And don't forget how much I LOOOVE reviews! Haha, well that's totally up to you. **_ __


	10. Cat Fight

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Ahh, I just can't stay away from FF now! LOL, well I guess that's a start from where I was before. Anyways, here's another really quick one-shot. Well, MY definition of quick...**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**_

_**Produced for the enjoyment of other fans, and not for profit. Please, I beg of you, don't sue, as I have no money.**_

…_**...**_

NOBODY'S POV: 

"OMG, OMG, OMG!" Gwen suddenly squealed, startling poor Julie so much that she capsized, falling agonizingly from her chair.

"What the hell?" Julie rubbed her pain-inflicted back frustratedly as she sat herself back down in the chair. "What is it, Gwen?"

"Orlando Bloom," Gwen gasped breathlessly, gazing down into the magazine intently. "Is getting MARRIED!"

"Holy crap!" Julie choked. "Eeeep! That is just so cute!" She grinned, trying to crane her neck over Gwen's shoulder to read it. "Wait, who is he marrying?"

"Hehehehe, he's having it held in Jamaica." Gwen giggled dreamily, ignoring Julie all together.

"Gwen?" Julie arched an eyebrow. "Gwen?"

"And the cake's going to have GOLDEN frosting!" Gwen rambled on absentmindedly, peering down at the article with high intensity. "And... and... AND the Pope is going to be there!"

"GWEN!" Julie yelled, trying desperately to swipe the magazine from the over-happy red head. "Who is he MARRYING?"

"Aww, the bride's dress is sooo dreamy!" Gwen cooed, clutching the magazine so tightly the edge of the page was beginning to tear. "It's made out of silk, and pearls, and crystals, and shiny beads, and di..."

"YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?" Julie hollered, her chair making a ear-splitting screeching sound as she bolted to a standing position. "SNAP OUT OF IT, GIRL!"

"And diamonds!" Gwen cackled in her ecstatic glory. "I LOVE diamonds!"

"THAT'S IT!" Without hesitation, the pissed off, dark-haired teen leaped at Gwen from across the table; body slamming her and tackling her into the hard, wooden floor.

"Give me... that... MAGAZINE!" Julie spat, brutally wrestling the scarlet-haired girl for the article.

"NEVER!" Gwen chuckled loudly and obnoxiously as she held the article out behind her in the air with one hand to keep it from Julie's grasp. "It's ALLLL mine!"

"ERGHHHH!" Julie growled in fuming rage as she struggled to rip it from her friend's hand. "NOT for LONG!" The infuriated teen held up her fist menacingly, threatening to punch the red head. "I'LL PUNCH YOU! I SWEAR, I WILL! JUST HAND IT OVER!" Julie hissed, anger boiling in her eyes.

"No you won't!" Gwen giggled. "I'm yo bestie!" Gwen sang in her weak attempt at slang talk.

Just then, the girls froze as they heard a loud creaking sound and the door opened, followed by an instantaneous gasp as Kevin saw the whole scene laid out before him: Gwen and Julie sprawled out, wrestling on the floor with Julie on top, her fist in mid-air as if she was threatening to throw a punch. And then his dark eyes traveled over to the magazine in Gwen's outstretched hand, which was flipped to the page that announced Orlando Bloom's engagement and wedding preparations...

And that was when Kevin knew EXACTLY what had happened; and he only had one thing to say about it.

One, single thing.

"HAHAHAHA, cat fight." Kevin giggled, clutching the door frame desperately for support, so he wouldn't join the girls all slumped out on the floor.

…_**...**_

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDING:**_

_**Okay! So that's it for tonight's updates: I am so FREAKING exhausted. I hope you enjoyed this one-shot, and I'll see you all soon! And, please review if you liked it! So, as they say in Español: Adios! **_


	11. Lo Mein Frenzy

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Here's another little tidbit I wrote up for you guys. Hope you all get as much of a kick out of it as I did. Ugh, there I go again with my corny one-liners!**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**_

_**Seriously, I got NOTHING to my name. Capiche?**_

…_**...**_

NOBODY'S POV:

"Mmm." Gwen slumped down into a relaxed pose in her chair, fully enjoying her hot, steaming bowl of lo mein. "Oh my god, this is _so_ freaking good!" The girl gloated to herself, her mouth filled with another spoonful of the enticing Chinese food.

But little did Gwen know that she was being stalked, that the chances of her finishing her mouthwatering meal were being threatened...

Peering out into the kitchen from behind a wall; Ben, Kevin, and Julie were watching the red-head's every move, plotting how to snag the bowl of foreign noodles from right under her nose.

"I say we create a diversion." The emerald-eyed brunette grinned deviously, rubbing his hands together.

"Yeah, Gwen's _way _too smart for that." Julie sighed, eying the girl's meal with a growing longing. "Maybe if it was _your _bowl of lo mein." The dark-haired girl grinned teasingly up at Ben. "But that's not the case. I say we sneak up on her, all at once. Someone's bound to get it if we try that."

"No, no, no." Ben shook his head. "We'd make WAY too much noise. My plan is safer, AND much better."

"Oh right, I forgot!" Julie snapped, standing up on her tipi-toes and getting all in the brunette's face. _"You'd _probably just give us away with your big mouth!"

Ben's eyebrows furrowed in anger as he opened his mouth to protest, his hands slowly reaching up to lips to test the truth of Julie's statement, but he was abruptly cut off by another infuriated voice.

"Would you two just SHUT up?" Kevin hissed, half annoyed to death by the two bickering teens. _"_You're fighting over a freaking bowl of pasta, when it's obvious that neither of you can ACTUALLY get it! Let the expert handle this." Kevin smirked his famous bad-boy smirk. _I'M_ going in."

And with that, the onyx-eyed teen got down on his hands and knees and began crawling silently into the room.

Wrapped up in her delicious pot of lo mein, Gwen didn't even notice her boyfriend enter the room.

That was, until his hands found a little puddle of sink water on the floor and he slipped; his arms sliding across the smooth surface with a sharp squeak.

The red-head turned her body to look down at him with a stern, narrowed gaze, her hands instinctively pushing her little bowl of goodness closer to her.

"It's... all... MINE." She growled, taking another large spoonful; of the noodles as she glared at the ex-con.

"Yup, Kevin is TOTALLY an expert." Ben muttered sarcastically from the other room.

…_**...**_

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDING:**_

_**Ahhhh, I just LOVE lo mein. It's so addicting. I actually just had some... heheheh. Anyways, I'm done here! See you all later, and review if you liked! Bye!**_


	12. Home Depot vs Hooters

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Have no fear- Kandi's here! Okay, that was lame. Lame and creepy-as-hell. Alright, let's just pardon my French and forget I said that entirely. Now, ROLL FILM! (Sigh) I'm so stupid, and there's no off button for that. Dang.**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**_

_**If I were MOA, Jennifer Nocturne would be dead. So, if you put two and two together like any other normal person, I turn out to NOT be MOA. Savvy?**_

* * *

Nobody's POV:

"Kevin, would you quit driving around in circles and just take us back to Mr. Smoothie's already?" The annoyed brunette whined, jumping up and down in his seat as the anxiety ate a massive hole through his stomach. Well, it was either the anxiety that was doing it or it was his grotesque, toxin-filled salmon and cherry smoothie that was currently flowing through his tummy. "I need a refill." Ben frowned unhappily, gazing down with distaste at his empty, Styrofoam smoothie cup. "Or maybe twenty." He admitted, sighing as his stomach rumbled noisily, sounding much like an earthquake.

"Sorry Ben-Ben." Kevin chuckled, keeping his obsidian eyes glued to the on-coming traffic. "Maybe you should have remembered your knack for eating as much a starved, wild animal when you smashed a giant hole through my wall." The dark teen's gaze narrowed as his eyes met Ben's. "We're going to Home Depot; _no_ exceptions." Kevin smirked. He always took great enjoyment out of torturing Ben, _especially_ after the brunette ticked him off. And now was the perfect opportunity for him to get some satisfying revenge on watch boy.

Gwen smiled lightly as her cousin slumped back down into his seat, crossing his arms as he pouted. Because she knew that if anyone deserved punishment right then, it was Ben. He was the one who had been stupid enough to "Humongasaur" his way through the wall of Kevin's garage, only then to go ahead and blame it on the high sugar level of his sugar-free soda drink. Kevin could be stupid, but he most-certainly wasn't _that_ stupid. The red-head shook her head, pulling her book in closer to her face as she resumed reading.

"A hah!" Kevin grinned, pointing to a light beige building with bright orange letters located down the road a-piece from where they were. "Everyone knows that a tan building with orange letters can only mean one thing: a Home Depot." Kevin stated joyously, cranking up the speed as they headed towards the location.

"Darn it." Ben groaned. "I thought we'd never find one."

"Whatever you say, Kev." Gwen sighed, fully aware that her boyfriend's silly little one-liners were weird beyond mention.

But did they really find a Home Depot, home of hardware and building?

Nope.

Instead, Kevin had stumbled upon a little restaurant called...

"Hooters?" Gwen gasped, her paper-back novel flying to the ground as she gaped up in horror at the unfortunately well-known food joint. "HOOTERS?" The alarmed red-head's gaze then flashed over to Kevin as she glared at him in disgust. "Kevin, this place is _not_ Home Depot. This is a horrible, nasty restaurant where all the waitresses are big-boobed, skanky girls! _Turn_ around!" She hissed, reaching out to grab the steering wheel. The angered girl death-stared Ben as she heard him snicker at her infuriated attitude from the back seat. "Oh, shut up, Benjamin Kirby!" She growled, watching with pleasure as he turned a light pink due to her certain choice of words.

"Woah, woah! Chill, Gwen!" Kevin held his hands up in the air to prove his innocence, his eyes wide. "Honestly, why would you _ever_ think that I'd want to go in there?" He asked, completely shocked. "I'm not a pig like that." The dark teen smirked, deciding to turn the heat back over to his annoying little cohort. "On the other hand, I do believe Benji over there is."

"No, no, no!" The brunette gasped, glaring at Kevin with pure rage. "Are you insane? Do you want Gwen to _kill_ me?" He hissed in an almost-whisper. "Not that I'm saying I'd actually _go_ in there..." He shook his head firmly, almost like he was trying to prove it to himself.

"_Anyways,"_ Kevin interrupted the awkward silence. "I was actually wondering; before I drive you two back to your houses, would it be okay if I quickly..."

And that was all it took to set off the over-assuming Gwen, making her react in such a way that suddenly, her fist had connected with Kevin's jaw, and he sucked in a pained, jagged gasp as his body rammed sideways into his door.

"Stopped by at the gas station to buy some soda...?" The hurting teen choked, finishing his sentence as his miserably cupped his chin. "Owww... " He moaned, his incredulous gaze flashing over to his astonished, embarrassed girlfriend. "And maybe some ice, too." He whimpered softly.

"Aww, Kev's got a boo-boo." The back-seated brunette sneered. "Want me to drive?" Ben offered with weak hopes as he began laughing uncontrollably. "I mean, she must've hit you _really_ hard, either that or you're not as big and tough as they all say you are..." He cackled. "It was _just_ a love tap, it wasn't even a solid punch..."

Gwen's questioning gaze suddenly locked with Kevin's and he nodded. And before Ben could do anything, he was down on the car's carpeting with an aching shoulder, not knowing what had hit him.

Kevin winced as he leaned over to the floor-bound Ben, but even though he was pained, he smirked. "Yeah, _just_ a love tap." He grinned in satisfaction as he once-more took hold of the wheel.

And that was the end of the conversation.

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_**AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDING:**_

_**Ahhhh, that kills me. :D Funny stuff. Ok, review if ya love me! Bye!**_


	13. Kevin Wins A New Car

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**Just a quick, little something before I go shopping. ;) Hope ya like!**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**_

_**I own zip.**_

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Nobody's POV:

"Congratulations Mr. Levin, you are the new owner of this beautiful sports car!"

Jumping up and down and yelling in a rather psychotic manner, Kevin bounded to the front of the audience, his black eyes alight with excitement.

"Oh, god." Gwen moaned, shock and concern pouring from her emerald gaze.

"Is… something wrong?" Ben inquired, his tongue getting quite busy with his chocolate ice cream cone.

"This is bad." The red-head groaned, putting her head in her hands. "This is real bad. Ben, you know very well that Kevin can't handle these kinds of things."

"What are you talking about, Gwen?" The brunette asked confusedly, his eyes turning to her. "Kevin's fine. He just won a new car, for crying out loud."

She shook her head. "Remember what happened last time? Last time, he…"

But it was too late.

Upon reaching the vehicle, Kevin began laughing. But not just laughing. No; laughing so hard and uncontrollably that he toppled over and began rolling around on the pavement, his hands clutching his stomach.

The audience gasped, their eyes wide as they glanced down in pure astonishment at the dark teen.

"Um, sir, are you alright?" The show's host asked anxiously, his face looking bewildered.

No answer.

Instead, Kevin began snorting, his fists banging down against the hard floor's surface in an unruly manner.

"Sir?" The man asked, his expression appalled.

The crowd gave out a few shrieks as Kevin started choking so loudly that its echo bounced against the walls and whipped through the stadium. His dark eyes widened, looking as if they'd bulge right out of their sockets.

"SIR?" The host yelled, making the audience begin to panic; a few parents here and there jolting to their feet, grabbing their children, covering their eyes, and evacuating the building.

And with that, Kevin passed out, his eyes rolling back into their sockets as he became very still on the hard cement.

Frightened, Ben and Gwen darted up the stairs to the stage, their expressions fearful.

"I told you." Gwen gritted angrily through her teeth to the brunette as she raced to Kevin's side.

"I'm getting another job." The host muttered wearily to himself.

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_**AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDING:**_

_**And that is that. Poor Kevin. Okay, I'm done. Review, please! Bye!**_


	14. Pizza Thief

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

_**How goes it, people? Okay, I've decided to base this one-shot off of what happened to me a few days ago; trust me, it was PSYCHO. A quick warning: this will be a bit high up on the crazy-meter. Just... brace yourselves for it! Hehe, because crazy is just the way I roll- I'm sure you're all quite aware of that by now.**_

_**STANDARD DISCLAIMER:**_

_**If you look up the word "loopy" in the dictionary, you'll find my picture right next to it. Oh, and before I forget: I DO NOT OWN MOA. We good?**_

_**

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**_

Nobody's POV:

Kevin breathed in huge wafts of the irresistible aroma fanning out from his heavenly pizza box. Every single slice of delectable, cheesy goodness inside it was his; well, not really. _Theirs_ was the word he was looking for, but had trouble accepting. The dark-haired teen had just ordered a fresh pizza from Pizza Shack, and was now on him merry way to the car, where he... _and_ his friends... could sink their teeth into and chow down on the amazing, Italian meal...

But, out of nowhere, a short, wrinkly old man came flying out from behind a nearby bush, leaping on top of Kevin and knocking him painfully into the cold cement. Grunting, he snagged the box of wonders from the astonished teen's grasp, sprang up again, and sprinted away intently into the distance, taking the treasured pizza with him.

Shaking viciously from trauma, Kevin clambered to his feet, his mouth drooped into a perfect "o".

because his attacker had been a hobo. A _hobo_ stole his pizza. And there was nothing Kevin could have done about it. He had been so shocked back there; it was like he was glued to the sidewalk, unable to move.

Silently and extremely ashamed of himself for losing the meal, Kevin trudged drearily to the parking lot where Ben and Gwen would be waiting for him, their stomachs hungry...

And, instead of delivering a pizza, Kevin would have to deliver them sad news; the news of how he had lost their dinner, how they wouldn't be getting any, and how he had been schooled by a mangy, old hobo.

Ben would never let him hear the end of it.

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_**AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDING:**_

_**Haha, poor Kevin. Just to let you all know, this same event happened to me a few days back- a hobo popped out of nowhere, and STOLE my pizza. Just... STOLE IT. With no warning. Grabbed it right out of my hands. It totally traumatized me. LMAO, but it was funny- my cousin couldn't stop laughing. My brother, on the other hand, got pissed off and chased after the hobo. (sigh) Yes, people THAT'S my family for ya. Maybe I'll make another "Pizza Thief" one-shot where the hobo comes back and tries to steal something else, THEN everyone can chase after him. HAHA. I think I will. But in the mean time, I gtg. See you all soon- and please update! Bye! **_


	15. Shoelaces

**Author's Note:**

**Well, I'm back for now! Don't know how long it will last, but, let's just hope that 2012 will be a much better year for my writing career. Because so far, I've just never been able to go on. As most of you know, I have an evil sis-in-law who I refer to as "The Evil Witch" because she's just that: evil. And a witch. She even has a wart... Not on her face, though. But Irdk what my brother sees in her. And she never lets me do anything that I enjoy doing... A.K.A writing. God, she's an insult to humanity. But I need to stop complaining, because **_**that's **_**never going to change...**

**Anyway. This needs updating. **_**Terribly. **_**I know that this isn't much, but it's a start. And I've been neglecting the living hell out of it...**

**Standard Disclaimer****:**

**You know the rules.**

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Author's POV:

"Kevin, Kevin, Keeeeevin! Guess whaaat?" A grinning brown-haired annoyance giggled from a distance as he came sprinting from around the corner of the block. Going a little too quickly, he couldn't stop himself before he slammed right into an unaware Kevin that had been leaning over to pick up a wrench, and caused him to go flying face-first into the cold, hard cement.

The dark-haired teen, knowing only that he had just been pushed down and not who it was that had done it, responded by jolting to his feet, whirling around, shoving Ben down to the garage floor and assailing him with a brutal frenzy of kicks and punches.

Kevin didn't stop; he didn't pause in his assault. All he knew was that he hated this intruder for ambushing him. For hurting him. For trying to make him feel like he was lesser than him. He hated those kinds of people. _Jerks. Assholes. _It all reminded him of the bullies he had had to face on the streets everyday when he was a little kid. Always stealing, tormenting, abusing. They would all pay someday... he would put them all in their place and punish them for every single one of their wrongs...

Suddenly, through his fury-smothered gaze, the ex-ruffian made out the face, the bloody, purple-splotched face, of his comrade. He quickly let go of the poor, neglected boy, letting him fall in a feeble heap against the floor.

"Oh! Tennyson! God, I'm so sorry." Kevin bit down on his lower lip, feeling extremely guilty as he knelt down to aid his friend. "What are you doing here?"

Ben's mutilated face lifted up slightly, just enough so that he could squint up at Kevin fearfully through his newly-acquired black eyes. "I... I just wanted to tell you that I finally learned how to tie my shoelaces..." He whimpered with terror before collapsing again.

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**Author's Note Ending:**

**Short, simple... that's how I feel like rolling right now. :) R&R if you wish, and thanks for your support, everyone. It really means alot to me. I've missed you all!**


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